In the Funk

I know I've sort of been blasting this blog with a lot of "memory" posts from the holidays.  I want to write more, but I've been in a bit of a funk lately.  Not a depression, but not "on-top-of-the-world" feeling. I keep trying to force myself out of it, then I realize I need to just process through it, and then I get impatient so I try to force myself out of it.  Vicious cycle.  I know many of you are aware I have fibromyalgia so that adds to all the self-sabotaging thoughts that go through my days where I feel a little "down under."

I'm definitely not blogging this as a downer for anyone, I seriously promise that.  I'm just trying to be real and hoping that this might be a way to force myself out of it.  By acknowledging it. I know that not many "random" people read my blog, mostly my family and friends, so I know it's safe to post this.  And I know most all of you have been through times like this-- The feeling of being weighed down by big questions like-"what does my life mean/what am I accomplishing with my life", to the smaller questions and/or criticisms of "why didn't I work out again?!/why can't I do something simple like keep my house clean?/and why did I cheat on my diet AGAIN?!".

Honestly, I'm not writing this to fish for positive reinforcement (even though I love that all of you love me... I definitely know I'm loved), I actually am afraid to post this because I'm embarrassed that anyone will feel that I'm doing that.  I am just writing this to be real... and let you know why my posts have been more of a family journal when I promised myself I would do more writing... because sometimes the simple task of hitting "Publish" on a post-- that is full of a slew of pictures I have just spent an hour sorting through, is a simple, yet invigorating feeling of accomplishment for a day of feeling unaccomplished, it is something outside of my To Do List, and something to zone away on without thinking about real life. So forgive me if I keep posting away.  I may come out of my funk soon.  If anything, I'd love to hear if any of you can relate.

Instagram-MARCH

Another month gone by! Here we are on March! Wow!  

Part of my plans for the Instagram posts are it gives you a glimpse as to future posts that have more pictures that go along with it. Some don't have more than just the Instagram picture though. This is sort of like a precursor to longer posts later on.

We've switched jobs. Xanthe Villa is on culinary skills this week aka learning to cook. Today was breading chicken and homemade marinara sauce for Chicken Parmigiana. (continuation of February Instagram thread with teaching kids to clean.)

Gettin ready for a new week. New room check off signs to help girls remember how to accomplish their chores. (teaching my children life skills.)

This is Spencer's new favorite movie. He walks around the house singing "This is Halloween, this is Halloween" over and over. A boy after my own heart.

Seeing this flower bed made me really happy today. First flowers I've seen in a long time.

me: Took the girls for a sports physical and came out with all three getting unexpected shots. Spencer was very concerned with the "hole in my leg."

nsteimle: Ow. Did you let them pick out a prize??

me: Ya. Treats from the shoppette.  It's like 7-11.

me: Another day at OT. He begs to go here.
nsteimle: That is a sweet picture of him looking up.
kirstynberrett: That was always Alta's favorite swing. :)
ruthylou: I want to get that for my house.
me: ruthylou-I have a friend who had someone hang one for her boy. I know so many kids who love this swing. We really need one here.

me: Success

Somebody got a big boy bed!!! He spent about an hour and a half just laying in it this afternoon watching shows on the iPad and playing trains on it. Xoe's not too happy we stole her top bunk.  There's a lot of wood, but his other walls are white and light blue. But yes he has two wood-paneled walls and the ceiling goes diagonally upward. Good thing his floors are light color otherwise I would feel like it was too much from the 70's.

Not an instragram picture- Spencer painting pictures for James' birthday. This one is Percy but he painted the James train for Uncle @jiggityjames.

Starting our Easter Countdown. We're about 4 days late but you know. It's all good.  There are little daily devotionals and each one is numbered ready to print.

me:  Breakfast of champions-French toast with butter syrup
#i never make hot breakfast during the week
#kids on bus usually at 6:55
#it must be terra nova testing this week

heshela: Whip cream is a must

me: heshela-absolutely. He has to have whip cream on everything, especially sprayed into his mouth like his awesome grampa has taught him. :)

me: Blast from the past! Was sorting pics and came across this.  Anyone remmeber whne I had a tiny ounce of "cool" (or at least I thought so.) :) wooow.

amelialyon: Wow. Look at those frosted tips!
ruthylou: What year was this?!

me: I think 2004 ruthylou. You helped with this shoot. I think you even took the pics.  amelialyon-classic, huh?

Xoe's Instagram pic-Decorating cakes for Young Women's

Taking advantage of this amazing day.

Takin a Springtime stroll with dad.

Building train tracks on the driveway. Why not? We gotta spend every moment out in the sun when we got it.

Sunbathing!

We might have a lefty!

me:  Hey now... No one be jealous of my cool state-of-the art juicer. I've had this thing for probably 15 years. ruthylou and bethlamb-do you remember this? We got it at the same time as getting a breadmaker at a flea market many, many years ago.  It totally still works. Booyah. Now I Just need me a heavy duty one to put whole fruits in like the trend is nowadays.

kristynberrett: We have a fancy one, but we use our $8 one from Walmart way more.

Just bought this. It has brought light into my life and is basically a piece of Brillo pad. Thank you Fuzz-A-Way.

me: Spencer joining yoga poses with me.
heathermegan: haha, he's better than me!

me: For a boy who hates vegetables, do these count as eating some? Hehe.

ruthylou: Hmmm, Have you tried smoothies with veggies in it?

me: He won't drink smoothies. Ugh. I've been hiding veggies in food from Deceptively Delicious.

ruthylou: That works.

This makes me sooooo happy!

me:  Spencer's new sheets and tent for his bed. Hope it helps with his sleeping.

ruthylou: Tell me about the tent!!!

me: ruthylou-It's at Ikea and it just hooks to the sides. It blocks out all the sensory input for Spencer so he can settle down easier. We've actually been using it for a few days, just posted cuz we got new sheets. He actually really loves the tent. A woman in my ward and our OT suggested it.

Gettin ready for warmer weather.

Perfect Sunday family bicycle ride weather. Have I mentioned how much I love Spring?

Takin one of the team. My bicycle tire is out of commission so he traded me halfway through and took a turn on one of the girls' pink bikes.

Found an awesome nature reserve in back of the forest behind our house. Right passed the horse stables. It was getting dark so I couldn't take many more pictures of the bridge and pond and climbing wall and playground. I'll take more another day. Definitely going to be a regular spot.

Another day at OT. This kid about has a heart attack when he knows it's time for "Ergoma." He counts down the days. This slide helps with his sensory.

In motion.

me: Spencer way excited for "Big Boy" preschool. He got moved to the afternoon class because he has made such huge developments in his speech. I'm actually going to admit because I'm not a morning person I love this afternoon school. I'm gonna be so much more productive this way. Oh and he got new shoes. Booyah!

jiggityjamesg: That jacket is gangster!
linzortiz: He looks adorable!
ambuhrley: So cute! What a stud! And congrats on the developments. That's huge!

me: jiggityjames- We've had that jacket for almost two years and almost didn't buy it cuz I thought it wouldn't be comfortable and he wouldn't want to wear it. He has preferred it over every sweater, jacket, sweatshirt. Haha he wears it with everything! It's so awesome huh? He's stylin!

Spending some time just lying in the sun in the backyard. The cool air mixed with the warm sun is my perfect weather. I may set up shop out here. I wish you could see the climbing rose bushes but this picture doesn't do it justice.

My peony bush getting ready to bloom. I wait for this every year. In about one week every bud will open and unfold backwards to reveal a bright pink flower 4 times the size of this bud. It make sme really happy.  I swear this picture was in focus when I took it.

kristynberrett: I love peonies!!
Misty Wolf: I, too, share a love for these flowers as my grandma used to have them from the time I was very young. Every time I come across or catch a whiff of them, it always brings back a flood of memories.
kerstin engelhart: You should take a picture each day and then you could make a flipbook.

me: Getting ready for my song in Women at the Well.

ambuhrley: What for? Looks fun!
fizerella: Haha! You looked so awesome! And - sounded so fabulous!
heathermegan: Cutie!

me: As you did fizerella! Splendid job. I was so proud of everyone. It's hard getting up to sing but everyone did great!

me: ambuhrley-Our ward put on a program based on the Women at the Well CD bible story for the Relief Society church celebration. It turned out really nice. I had fun dressing up, can you tell? Xoe and Xanthe sang too. they did awesome.

ambuhrley: Did you record it? Put it on your blog.

me: ambuhrley-I didn't record it. I was the only one there with a camera and even then it felt awkward taking pictures. Xoe got some good ones of the food and one of the whole set. I also got a couple of the girls singing with the Young Women. I'll put them on the blog.

Stay tuned for all the fun March events elaborated on with future posts!