Why am I blogging through my sickness?
Well, here's why...
EVEN THOUGH....I totally wish I was better, and could very much do without all of this, the silver lining that I have found through it all is that...
...all the stress and overwhelmingness of my normal day, and the "I-have-too-much-to-do-I'm-never-going-to-get-it-done"....has all been gone. I haven't felt any of it. I can't even have, or form, the thoughts. The headache, the fever, the chills just physically won't let me think of them. The only thoughts I can form in my brain is "take medicine, watch Grey's".
It's actually been quite liberating. I haven't felt stressed at all (except for when I'm frustrated when thinking "I can't do this another day").
And on the "too-much-to-do" days, blogging usually is on the top of my list. But then, as the day goes by, it slowly gets moved lower and lower on the priority list.
I actually enjoy blogging. So, when all of that "other" stuff/responsibility is gone, like during this sickness, I have been able to do a tiny bit of blogging. It felt so good to be able to do what I want to do, without the nagging in the back of my brain saying that I am neglecting other more important things. [I also can't just "go to sleep" like some said, cuz I don't sleep. I just lay there...(Alicia, is that correct English? ) Last night I was lying awake from 10:00 p.m. - 4:00 a.m. going through the routine of shakes and sweats. Feel sorry for me yet? hehehe. I sound like such a whiner.]
AND as much as I am begging, praying and looking forward to getting well, I'm not quite looking forward to "those" days again. I liked the liberating days. (And yes, I know, the Tony Robbins in all of us would say...just MAKE those days happen. But realistically we can't have liberating days without any responsibility all the time)
So I promise...I'm going to stop writing about my stupid sickness (even though I'm going to the doctor today because not much has changed and now my heart is starting to skip a lot) and try blogging about my trip. It really was a great time. Does it seem too long ago to blog about it now?