Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Dangerously Blogging at 2:30 a.m.

It's 2:36 a.m. here in Germany.  The house is oddly quiet for being only two days out from landing in Frankfurt.  Spencer is usually awake for hours during the night and the girls are normally up and out of bed each hour.  Jetlag is rough, I'll admit it.  I used to try to deny it but I unabashedly and unapologetically scream from the rafters how horrible it is.  Maybe I'm making it worse if you believe in the Law of Attraction, or a self-fulfilling prophecy... but I don't care. I used to have a positive attitude about it.  It wasn't until I finally acknowledged the reality that it sucks, it's been easier for me to handle.  I have learned over the years different things to help (can you say drugging your kids at night and on the plane... I unabashedly and unapologetically do that too) but it still happens, and it's the consequence we know we  face when we decide to fly 5,320 and something miles to see our family and friends.  And something we know we have to face for living in as amazing of a place like this.  Yes, it is something that is totally worth it, just not while I'm in the moment.

My trip home this last Christmas was more amazing than all the other  years.  Don't get me wrong... the other years were great too, but I think this year I spent more quality time with so many more people, that it just made the trip that much more special.  I wasn't a great prioritizer of time. (I never have been though.  Are you?)  So because I spent so much quality time with lots of people, I got really behind in other major important things like packing up double the stuff we already brought, to fly 5,320 and something miles back home to Germany, or to find time to visit with all my other friends I really wanted to see too (Nina? Helga? Crystal? Alicia? Nicole? etc., etc.!).

There were so many people to visit, and I was overwhelmed with my "to do list" that I just sometimes just holed up in my room and watched the only thing that was recorded on the TV in my room upstairs... The Closer.  It's a pretty good show, but after awhile I realized it's definitely no CSI, Alias, or Law & Order (a few of my favorite crime-fighting, murder-solving shows... there are more, don't you think much more worthy of Emmy nominations than The Closer). This show is just not even close to reeling me in even like a cheesy show such as The Ghost Whisperer does. (The girls got me a little hooked). Don't get me wrong. I love me some Kyra Sedgwick. Loved her in Phenomenon with John Travolta. I just don't like her character in this show, or many of the characters, or a lot of the story lines.

So, enough about The Closer. You can tell I was desperate.  But I eventually tackled my "to do list" and got packed up to leave.  I got about 3.5 hours of sleep the night before we left.  Went to bed at 1:00 and woke up at 4:30.  Not happy about it.  Anything before 6:00 a.m., in my opinion, is a sin against mankind. I'm not a morning person.  I also had insomnia on the plane, but then again one of the things that has made the plane rides a lot easier for me is to expect I won't get any sleep.  It makes being woken up right when I'm about to fall asleep by the 3rd kid, much more bearable.  I also have lots of alone time to watch movies in the dark and brainstorm new ideas (see below). I've had some pretty amazing realizations while on the long plane ride.

I'm sure a lot of you are wondering why I'm just writing so much.  It's because of the reason I realized why I haven't been blogging lately. I'm bored with myself... well with my blog.  I can only imagine you guys are too.  Just reporting things that happened so long ago aren't as exciting sometimes.  I will still blog them for my own memories, but I want a blog where I can just write.  Cuz I'm a writer.  Yup. I can now not feel embarrassed saying that out loud (I get embarrassed bragging... you wouldn't know it by this blog post, though, huh?).  I've gotten to the point where I can actually admit that and believe that about myself.  Have any of you read the magazine I co-own with my cousin (If you haven't, tsk tsk.  Do it.  You'll thank me)? I write a crap load (and yes that's not very "PS" Polite Society of me to say, but it's true).  From the articles I research and write, to the ones I edit for others with a fine-toothed comb before sending them to the professional editor, I write a crap load.  And then there's the emails back and forth to our huge team of writers and photographers, to potential network contacts and to our blessed readers.  It's a lot.  But then it's stopped.

Well, for the most part.  We've stopped making issues.  Well, at least for December.  We needed a break.  A huge break.  And now we're ready to start again. But we won't be writing or putting together issues.  We're focusing on the promotion and acquisition of a publishing deal.  Did you like those big words?  It's cuz I'm a writer. :)

I've missed writing.  I've also missed writing in a candid way.  As all of you PS readers know, there's a certain standard our articles are written in, but sometimes I like to write candidly.  I need to. It's in me.  But as my sister Heather sometimes laughs at me, I write a little too much.  It's cuz I type really fast.  Like 120,000 wpm.  Well, take off the last 3 zeros.  But I type pretty fast.  So I write what's going through my head and can usually say everything without having to censor.  Too much? Maybe.

Maybe this post needs to be finished. Ruth, is this what you were talking about writing late at night after taking a sleeping pill?  :)  Does a Melatonin count? :) That should have worn off hours ago when I was trying to sleep during the day while Spencer slept for 11 hours because I knew he was going to be wide awake tonight... or so I thought.  He's fast asleep and now I'm wide awake. How's that for funny? And ironic? And for trying to be too prepared. I love being prepared but sometimes it bites me and I should just go with the flow.

Okay, I'm ending this post.  The bath is hot, bubbly and ready.  Yes, I love baths.  Much more than showers (even though don't worry I still take showers.).  It's where I can relax, and think, and rejuvenate myself.  I have dawnings there too.  I also can uninterruptedly read a good book. It's a bit of a gift to myself to be able to take a bath.  Diet Cokes are too.  Well, that's more like an addiction.  I like to think of it as a gift.  Have you ever had an ice cold Diet Coke IN the bath.  Amazing...

One last thing-I'm thinking of starting another blog. Something that hit me on the plane ride over here (see above).  It would be a parenting blog sort of like a forum for parents to share their advice and I can give my reviews of things I've used and have had an opinion on.  I have lots of people asking me for advice all the time and I think it would be a good way to practice and have an outlet for my writing at the same time. My mom (a Bachelor's in Child Development) teaches a parenting class and has been trying forever to get me to teach one. I'm still debating it, but I think it would be fun to have my sisters and mom and other people write posts for it.  I know there are lots of parenting blogs out there but many of them are product websites with forums, and the other Mommy blogs I've read are more like candid takes on parenting and/or product reviews.  What do you think?

Oh, and after I had decided I wanted to do it in the darkness of the airplane two days ago, my decision was re-affirmed by the flight attendant who whispered in my ear, "The parents of the other 43 children on this flight (no joke! It was pretty ridiculous how many kids there were, lots of crying and tantrums and running up and down the aisles) would probably like to know how you've gotten all three kids to sleep for at least 5 hours of this flight and will probably be sleeping longer, among all the noise. Your children have been wonderful, polite and it's been a pleasure having your beautiful family on this flight."  Wow.  What a compliment.  Thank you very much!

Give me your thoughts.

And PLEASE hit "follow" on my blog. I get a little sad that I have like a ton (okay maybe not a ton, but quite a lot) of people reading my blog but only 14 actual "followers".  That doesn't say much for my popularity even though I know people read it.  Where's the love?  If it's because I still have a Halloween background, never fear... it'll be changed soon.  Would you like to believe it's because I love Halloween so much? Even though I do... it's not.  It's because of (insert all the reasons I mentioned above of not prioritizing my time well while on vacation regarding "to do lists"). As soon as my husband gets over jetlag, he'll do it.  He has made so many updates to my blog, I'm afraid to ruin them by trying to do it myself.  And he was sick the entire Christmas vacation.  Boo for me, huh?

Nighty night.  I'll be up probably the rest of the night. It's just too quiet in this house to not take advantage.  I'll sleep during Spencer's nap tomorrow.  See, Heather? I just can't stop.  Haha.  Good night.


Randi said...

I actually really loved this post. It reminded me of when we could hang out and just talk. I don't think you should ever be shy to say that you are a writer. I love everything that I have read from your magazine and you are really good! I LOVE the idea of a parenting blog. You alone got me through Brenna's first year (even though you moved half way through it...which proves that you could help so many people that you can sit face to face with). You are an amazing mom, friend, writer and person and I know that you can do whatever you decides will challenge and entertain you. Let me know when if you decided to do the blog...I will for sure "follow" you!

Ruth said...

Yes,This is what i was talking about. Although at lest this post makes sense. Mine were writings from a crazy lady.

Nan said...

I for reals just took a typing test. you are really fast.. Thanks for your blog. I felt like I was there with you at your house and you were telling me all about your trip. Now I just need to come and really see your house. Am I one of your followers??

Stephanie said...

Ok, I had me some good laughs reading this post. Diet Coke IN the bathtub sounds glorious. I wish I thought of it first. ;)

I want to know your parenting secrets. Seriously, I have nannied so many peoples kids and seen so many parenting techniques that just DONT work but the parents continue doing them, even though they are obviously not working. I think people/ parents need a blog out there they can find refuge and solace in for parenting their children. I would love to learn. Please, I will follow it. haha

You are a gerat writer. I am intimidated to write on my blog for fear that my abilities to write are not up to par with some of my fellow bloggers/followers. Never judge, writing has not been my best quality even though I am constantly working to make it better.

Sorry this is as long as your post. haha Keep writing, and I like your candid-ness, if you will.